The last few weeks have been mostly grey and rainy but finally the sun has come out. It's welcome since the greyness combined with the large amount of abandoned buildings around here has reminded me of the movie of Cormac McCarthy's book, 'The Road'. I've been wondering how many people have been looking at me and wondering how delicious I'd taste. But now that the sun's out my fears of cannabalism have abated and all the surplus real estate seems like a great business opportunity waiting to happen.

Holding Pattern is kind of how I feel for the next three weeks or so. It's incredible the difference waiting to go over to France this time compared to when I went over in the Fall. Going over the first time there was an anxiety and urgency that I could barely stand. This time I'm much more calm. I know now that my fiance actually exists and that the stuff between us isn't just made up. I feel like I've simply been on a business trip for the last two months. Soon I'll be home with my briefcase in hand wondering where my martini is.

How the tide has turned. I gave notice at the Captain's Quarters and was granted permission to go ashore February 1st. I bought my ticket and leave Feb. 25th for France. Presently I'm dogsitting for my brother-in-law's brother.

Housesitting is never a dicey proposition. You get to stay in somebody else's house; eat their ice cream; enjoy satellite television (or basic cable at the very  least) and help yourself to their booze. It's a dream gig. Most people go through extraordinary cleaning measures as well when somebody is housesitting for them so there's really no drawback to housesitting for either a friend or stranger.

Mocha Grande

But dogsitting is another story. The dog can either be heartbreakingly annoying or hearbreakingly adorable.  I once dogsat for one of my sisters for a weekend with a dog that she loved but I swear to God, after twenty four hours with that animal I was willing to drive it far out into country on a one way trip as well as sign any notarized document stating that I was not related to my sister and could take no responsibility for the animals in her stewardship. If you knew how much I care for my sisters this is a really big deal. Not only are they my best friends but I've risked legal prosecution when ex-boyfriends have wronged them.

Sorry... just listening to some New Order right now. Is there any other band in the history of music where the lead singer died and then the band re-formed under another name and was almost as good as the original band? I don't think so. Not sure what Bad Lieutenant is like so I don't know if a band can reform three times and still be great.

Mocha's a great dog. She's got a few weird ticks. First off - she loves to go for walks but is afraid of her leash. Its the oddest thing. When you're headed for the door she gets all excited and jumps around like she's going to go for a walk but when you reach for her leash she dives under a piece of furniture like it's Holy Water and she's Linda Blair (for the younger set this reference should be changed to Edward from 'Twilight').  After I have a shower she loves to jump into the tub and look at me while I towel off. I've been dogsitting for two days and taken her for many walks and I've yet to see her pee as well. Perhaps being a gal dog, she's a little shy around me.

She also insisted that I sleep with her. I was told by her parents that this might happen. I opted for the guest room since I think it odd to sleep in anybody's primary bed. But when I went to sleep in the guest room, every hour and a half Mocha would come into the room and stick her wet nose into my face until I'd wake up. Finally at midnight I got tired of this and followed her out of the bedroom and into her folks' bed where she happily curled up beside me. It's great sleeping beside a dog. I love the way they settle in and then give that big dog sigh like they've had such a hard day and it's so great to finally relax.

I've also been watching TV again. OH...I love TV. I love it so much that I can't have it around me. I have a tendency to come home and sit and watch TV and pay no attention to anything else. In fact, I love TV so much that I never got TIVO. I've heard people say that TIVO simply helps you watch TV more efficiently by only recording what you want to see so you don't waste time watching shows you have no interest in. But TIVO would only help me watch more TV and soon I'd be phoning in sick to watch hours of Bigfoot documentaries.

After ten days with Mocha in a great bungalow that's just off the beach, I'll be at my sister's place in Toronto for about four days (haven't seen her and her kids in almost two years so quite excited about this visit). When I get back, I'll be staying at my sister's townhouse for the last ten days. Her previous tenant moved out on Feb 1st. He's a retired Navy captain who pilots boats from here to the Carribbean but since the economy's gone south he's had to go north to search for more opportunities.

I just realized that after this week I probably won't have internet access at the places I'll be staying at so I thank anybody reading this on a regular basis for missing it in the next few weeks should it be the case that I can't post anything.

To Do List

There are two important things on my to do list before going to France:

1. Valentine's gift
2. Train myself to eat slowly again

Number 1 is much easier than number 2. If you love somebody and listen to them a great Valentine's gift is no problem. By the way, a great Valentine's gift should be heavy on the thoughtful and light on the cost.

Training myself to eat slowly is going to be much more difficult. I hate eating by myself. I love to eat but I really only enjoy eating with other people. Since coming back to the States, most of my meals have been by myself. When I sit down to eat when I'm all by myself I don't care for it at all. I'll still make something nutritious (generally) but I'll gobble it down quickly usually while standing over the sink. I've gotten in the habit of eating so quickly that even when I'm with other people I find myself eating at a pace that's so quick other people stare at me. I've got to start training for France though. Must slow down my eating process and learn that eating isn't just a nutritional necessity but a social imperative.

Brother-in-Law

One of the great things about being here in the last few months has been the fact that my Brother-in-Law and I have been able to get to really know one another. He and my sister have been married for almost twenty years and although we get along we've never been real chummy the way I am with my other brothers-in-law. I think one of the reasons is that he's from the south and I'm from Canada. It seems like there's been some kind of divide between us for the almost twenty years that he and my sister have been married. The only reason I can think for this divide is that he's from Louisiana and I'm from Toronto.

 Since coming back though, we've been working together at the tennis court. He's the pro there and gave me the job I've been working at for the last month or so.  Working together has put us both on an entirely different plane. Instead of being related by marriage we've been co-workers and that's been the missing link in our relationship. He's incredible at his job and there's a different comfort level we have to dealing with each other as co-workers instead of relatives.  I don't think he thought I could carry as many bags of tennis court clay in one trip as I'm able to and that seems to have made all the difference in our relationship.