Alzheimer’s, “Where’s Mum Gone?”

Written by Riviera Reporter

Patrick Middleton meets a man living through an increasingly common family tragedy

That’s a question Peter C. recalls asking quite often when he was a boy growing up just outside of Doncaster in Yorkshire. “Don’t get me wrong — I had the best of mothers. But she was a district nurse and sometimes I’d come home and find she’d been called out and that’s when I’d ask my sister, she was two years older than me, where mum had gone”.

Now, nearly forty years on, Peter found himself asking that question again when he went home to Yorkshire. “The only difference was that this time I could see mum sitting in front of me — but she wasn’t there and I don’t know where she’s gone.” The cruel truth is that his mother has fallen victim to Alzheimer’s. “She’s 68 now and it started about four years ago, at least that’s when it became noticeable. There was memory loss, confusion, irritability. It’s got steadily worse — and it’s not going to get better. There are ups and downs but she’s slipping away fast and there are times she seems in a complete fog.”

Peter’s sister is separated from her husband and has a handicapped son. “She’s done her best,” says Peter, “but she’s got too much on her plate and I can see she’s worn out. I’ve decided to bring mum down here to our home near Mandelieu and look after her. My kids are in senior school and my wife is very supportive of the idea.”

“But,” Peter says, “I don’t want to face this completely alone. There must be other people down here in the same situation, spouses, children, even friends. I’d like to share information and ideas on being a carer and on the resources available through the French system. I’ve already talked to a couple of local doctors who’ve been very helpful. I’d also like to look at the possibility of getting some part-time help with the caring. I could see from my sister’s situation that that could be crucial. I do hope for some feedback on all this. Anybody could end up with my problem … ”

Anyone interested in setting up an Alzheimer’s carers’ group here can write to Peter at the Reporter. The Association France-Alzheimer has branches in all regions.

From Reporter 106 - Dec 2004

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