Patrick Middleton on an unusual service offered to British expats When Anne McColliog was an expat Brit in Saudi Arabia back in the nineties her thoughts sometimes turned to her parents, both of whom were dead and lay in distant British cemeteries. Particularly on the anniversaries of their deaths she would have a sharp pang of regret that she couldn't visit their graves to say a prayer and offer flowers. "It's a common problem and it nagged at me when I returned to the UK," she told me. "It affects a lot of people who live abroad and they feel sad, even guilty, about it. Finally, I decided to do something and I launched In Your Absence (IYA), based at Altrincham in Cheshire." What exactly does it do? "Put very simply, I organise a visit to a grave or memorial site and do whatever the family member has asked for. I do a lot of visits myself and what people should know is that the whole procedure is carried out with great respect and dignity. You know, in many cases grief never entirely heals and I think for those unable to visit themselves what we do can be very consoling."

So how does it work? "Ideally, anyone interested should log on to our website and complete an application form. Obviously, I need the fullest possible information about the location of the grave and even then I often need to do quite a bit of research to find it. Either I or one of my visiting team - they're very carefully chosen - notes the state of the grave, takes a photograph and on behalf of our client does what's been asked for." And the cost? "There's a basic fee plus justified travelling expenses. Anyone's who's interested can give me a call to discuss further what's involved. I only wish someone had been doing this when I was in Saudi."

IYA's website is at www.inyourabsence.co.uk.

From Reporter 112 - Dec 2005

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