Breaking up with Charlie …

Cocaine is often regarded as the drug of choice of the rich and famous and that gives it a particular appeal; but for many users it brings degradation and misery. Patrick Middleton reports on a local group which aims to help such people.

I’m not young enough to have grown up within the drug culture and across the years I’ve had very little contact with its adepts. An exception was Tokkie. I was introduced to his parents during a trip to South Africa. He was living here at the time and they asked me to look him up. I met him in Antibes and he told me his story with total frankness. He’d been raised in Mossel Bay, one of those picture-postcard little towns on the Garden Route in the Western Cape. He wasn’t much of an academic but to please his parents he enrolled at Stellenbosch, the Afrikaans university. “I got bored and dropped out. I decided I wanted to see a world beyond South Africa and after a few months waiting tables in Cape Town I got a job as a steward on a yacht. We went to Antigua, the Azores, Majorca. The guys smoked quite a lot of pot but that was all. Then in Gibraltar I was taken on by another yacht and then everything changed. That boat was an upmarket floating crack house. Everyone was at it, from the owner and captain down. Charlie was an indispensable member of the crew .”

“Life is reduced to obsession with the drug”
What did Tokkie make of Charlie – a common slang term for what pharmacologists know as C17 H21 N04 or cocaine? “It was wonderful at first. You see, though I enjoyed being at sea, I wasn’t really happy. I’d disappointed my parents, I knew, and I had no idea where my life was going. Cocaine changed all that. I suddenly felt on top of the world – happy, secure, confident. That was true for – what? – about nine months. Then I lost my job. I’d got slack, I admit. I was one of those users who quickly loses control to the drug. By now I had an absolute craving for it. On that boat it was just there for me. Part of the rations. No longer. I took a flight to London and got mixed up with some lowlifes from S.A. and Zim. Some of us were involved with stealing cars, I nearly got arrested and was really frightened. I rang my parents and told them I had to have a serious operation. They sent me money which of course went on cocaine. Then I got into more trouble so I moved here. I’ve got a girlfriend with a bit of money and she keeps us both supplied.

What I’d do without Charlie I just don’t know.”
Tokkie disappeared from my view some time ago. I recounted his story to a member of the local branch of Cocaine Anonymous. “It’s a classic case,” he told me. “He was right: at the beginning cocaine gives you a wonderful feeling. It’s indescribable. Then when, as often happens, the initial experimental use turns into an uncontrollable craving the person’s life is destroyed. I’m not surprised that this young man from a respectable family turned to crime, cheated his own parents and ended up obsessed with how to get his next dose. It’s a tragic story that we see repeated over and over again. People like Tokkie lose all capacity for judgement and reasoned decision-making. Nothing – family, friends, job – matters. Their life is reduced to their obsession with the drug.”

“A desire to be free from cocaine”
So how does Cocaine Anonymous operate? “Basically, it’s modelled on Alcoholics Anonymous, although it’s a much later arrival – it began in Los Angeles in 1982. The starting point for anyone has to be a desire to be free from cocaine. As you know, addictive conditions are often linked to denial and it’s often not easy for someone to admit there’s a problem and that action is needed. In quite a lot of cases it’ a family member, friend or even a colleague who realises there’s a bad situation and tries to persuade the person to contact us.” And then? “There’ll be welcomed to a meeting – our group’s based in Monaco – where of course everyone present has dealt with the same issue. There’s absolutely no judging. We use AA’s Twelve Steps approach. Briefly, a new member has to clearly recognise his or her addiction and wish to be freed from it both by the help of some higher power – God, if you like, whatever that word means to them – and by their own will and determination strengthened by that power. A new member also has to show readiness to confront his or her moral shortcomings and make amends for all wrongs done. That young man, for example, would have to repay the money he took from his parents.”

“A continuing part of life”
And does it work? “It does. I’ve been free, as we say, for three years now. Of course, it does need a lot of work. The social and psychological support of the group is crucial but the individual member has to make a continuing effort. Even when you’re free, you realise that that effort will have to be an ongoing part of your life. But it’s worth it – I feel totally at ease with myself.”

Personal details concerning Tokkie have been changed to conceal his identity. The number to ring: the local Cocaine Anonymous hotline is 06 20 00 66 36

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