“Without let or hindrance” - “To the aid of the party” (any party – well almost) -
why the Queen has two birthdays - young Brits just don’t fancy being gardeners - Names and class - talking of respect 

“Without let or hindrance”
Harold Berman in Cannes has written to complain of the long delay in helping him to obtain a new UK passport. He applied online nine weeks ago and has heard nothing. Maybe this partly results from the recent switch-over to biometric passports. According to the information sheet we’ve had from Marseille, “The main new feature is an embedded microchip that holds an electronic copy of the passport photo page. Crucially, this allows for facial recognition data from the chip to be compared against the face of the passport holder and will ensure that a passport cannot be used by someone other than the person to whom it was issued.” When Harold finally receives his application document he will notice that the cost of a standard passport has been significantly hiked: for adults from €107 to €142, for children from €70 to €92. Home Office Minister Andy Burnham told the Commons that “improvements in passport security do carry a cost but it’s a price worth paying”. For the record, since Tony Blair came to power that price has increased by three times. For detailed information on passport procedures see www.britishembassy.gov.uk/france

“To the aid of the party” (any party – well almost)
A Brit living in Milan remarked to me how odd (and depressing) it was that our compatriots seem so reluctant to vote, and that’s a marked contrast with the Italians, and including Italian expats. According to an official estimate, of some 3.5 million Italians living abroad something over 40 per cent cast a vote in the recent elections. Both in the lower house and in the senate their choices played a critical role in ousting Berlusconi and handing power to Prodi on the left by a wafer-thin majority. One of the lessons from this poll is that it’s not always the case, as often assumed, that expats as a class will usually vote on the right. Admittedly, in places like Argentina the Italian diaspora harbours some unashamed fascists – literally, they’ve often got il Duce hanging on their walls rather than il Cavaliere – but as the recent result showed a lot of expats will go left if they’re fed up with the other lot.

But Brits, at home and abroad, in large numbers can’t be bothered to vote. Michael Howard, at the beginning of his brief leadership, declared that “most people are not interested in politics, they are not interested in politicians. They are only interested in problems they come up against in their daily lives.” So does that explain why so few Brits abroad vote? Not really. I find many of them bellyache continually about the UK government. And, of course, there are issues which they can “come up against in their daily lives”. The rising cost of a passport is a minor issue, admittedly, but those who’ve chosen to contribute voluntarily to qualify for a British state pension should note that Blair has approved – as from 2020 – a deferred entitlement age of 67 for men, 65 for women. And then there’s the whole quality of life issue, important in the event of return to the UK or – for a lot of people, if they think about it – as it concerns close family living there.

This column has no political agenda other than feeling it would be a good thing if more expats voted. Then they might be taken more seriously in Westminster and Whitehall and injustices such as the “frozen pensions” affair would be remedied (there are local victims in Monaco, as not everyone is aware). Incidentally, Italy has “a Minister for overseas Italians”. So once again: who’s entitled to vote and how do you register to do so? You can have your say in a General Election if you’ve at some time been registered to vote in the UK and if you’ve not lived outside the country for more than 15 years (a restriction that Old Labour stalwart Roy Hattersley once told this magazine was “non sensical”). To find out more visit the electoral commission web site at www.electoralcommission.org.uk, type  “overseas voting” in the “Search box” and it will produce a leaflet you can download that “tells you what you need to know if you are a British citizen living abroad and want to apply to vote from overseas”. To register as an overseas voter you can download the necessary form from www.aboutmyvote.co.uk. And if you’re a cyberdunce you can snailmail the Electoral Commission at Trevelyan House,  Great Peter Street, London, SW1P 2HW.

In case you didn’t know
Christine Lacombe in Marseille says her Anglo-French daughter wants to know why the Queen has two birthdays and if it’s true for any other members of the Royal family. No to that. As to the monarch’s double celebration that goes back to King Edward VII. He was born on November the 9th and as he hated winter weather (in his younger days he often sought refuge on the Côte d’Azur) he decided that the official public marking of his birthday should be in June while on those grey and chilly November days he would stay at home. And that’s how it’s been ever since. Our present Queen was actually born on April the 21st; this year her official birthday was on June the 17th.

Home truths:
- How could Tony Blair improve his image? The think-tank Demos suggests he should follow Villepin’s example and start writing poetry (the Frenchman’s verses are, we now know, published at his own expense). What could we expect from a poet who claims to enjoy such gifted lyricists as the the Darkness?

- Give your child a particular name and he or she’s immediately labelled “classy” or the reverse. According to a recent UK study the names to go for are Camilla, Jeremy, Penelope, Emma and Giles; if you don’t want your kid to be taken for a chav avoid Zowie, Kayleigh, Toyah, Dwayne and Jason.

- Some of those people with posh names have big gardens but, sadly, Dwayne, Jason & Co don’t want to work in them. According to a report from the Royal Horticultural Society young Brits just don’t fancy being gardeners. It’s a job they see as poorly paid, dirty and bringing no respect. Three quarters of the UK’s professional gardeners are within 20 years of retirement.  If things don’t change a lot of great gardens will have to be grassed over.

- And talking of respect (something Blair likes to bang on about) what of this? Pupils at Weavers secondary school in Northampton have been given permission to swear at teachers as long as they don’t do it more than five times in one lesson. Explains head Alan Large: “This is realistic. The f-word, is just part of their everyday language.”

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